International Noise Conference celebrates its 10th anniversary at Churchill’s Pub




















Frank Falestra is standing at the backyard bar of Churchill’s Pub, tinkering with a lighting board that has a broken switch.

It’s an urgent repair because the switch controls red light.

“Red is important at a rock bar,” he says.





Falestra, better known as Rat Bastard, is hailed as the godfather of Miami’s noise scene and the founder of International Noise Conference, an annual festival celebrating musical nonconformity.

Every year, the festival draws hundreds to three-decades-old Churchill’s Pub, where noise fans and other revelers gather to sing, dance, screech and, sometimes, bloody each other’s noses.

International Noise Conference will kick off its 10th year starting 10 p.m. Wednesday at Churchill’s, 5501 NE Second Ave. The festival continues at 9 p.m. Thursday, 8 p.m. Friday and 3 p.m. Saturday.

Falestra, 54, expects more than 100 bands to show up. That number is about the same as the last few years, but the fourth night of the festival is new, thanks to funding from the Knight Foundation’s Knight Arts Challenge.

Admission to the festival, as always, is free.

“We keep the money thing completely out of it,” Falestra said. “That’s probably why it’s still going.”

There are only two hard-and-fast rules for musicians performing at INC: no laptops, and get off the stage in 15 minutes or less.

The laptop rule is to prevent the show from getting boring, Falestra says.

But the time limit? Artists have flown all the way from France and Australia to perform at INC. And they only get 15 minutes?

According to Falestra, a 30-year veteran of the Miami music scene, that’s all you need to get the point across.

“Usually 20 minutes of anybody is too much,” he said. “Like the Foo Fighters. You wouldn’t want to see them for 20 minutes. Ten minutes would kill you.”

Page 27, a Denver-based noise band, has one of the farthest commutes on the set list this year. Like most of the other bands, INC is the only show pulling Page 27 away from its hometown this time of year.

But member John Gross, 35, said the band is looking forward to the networking opportunities as much as the brief set. The best part for him, he said, is going to the tables in the back of the bar to trade CDs, tapes and records with other bands. “You end up finding a lot of music that you don’t see anywhere else,” Gross said.

The first two days of the festival, which feature local bands almost exclusively, are heavy on different music genres. Thursday is usually the most outrageous night. Sometimes, Falestra says, people get naked.

Many of the bands will play noise sets regardless of their typical musical style. This might include an avant-garde mix of improvisational drumming, playing non-musical objects such as sheets of glass or screaming into a microphone.

Novice noise fans shouldn’t be afraid, though. In spite of its name, INC doesn’t require that every set consist of noise. It’s possible to hear something approaching listenable music at the show.

Although he disdains the pop-punk bands that flood college radio stations these days (he has a particular distaste for Green Day), Falestra said he’s not averse to tossing more mainstream acts into the lineup to keep things from getting predictable.





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Adorable Tots: Celebs and their Cute Kids!



Rosie O'Donnell







Rosie O'Donnell cradles her daughter Dakota in this intimate Instagram pic, in which she also sings the praises of her new baby carrier. "NuRooBaby.com -- a wonderful baby carrier -- with skin on skin contact -- love it," she writes. 








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Alleged SoHo firebug 'stressed from jealousy' lawyer claims after man pleads not guilty to setting fatal blaze








Steven Hirsch


Wei Chu Hu pleaded not guilty today to setting a blaze on Jan. 11 in SoHo that left one woman dead and destroyed the homes of numerous other residents.



He was "stressed," the Manhattan man accused of setting a deadly SoHo fire last month -- out of jealousy -- explained afterward.

"He said he burned a building down because he was stressed about family matters," police detectives said of the confession of accused killer arsonist Wei Chu Hu, 45.

"He said nobody got hurt to his knowledge," according to the confession, released today as Hu pleaded not guilty in Manhattan Supreme Court to the Jan. 11 blaze at 41 Spring Street, which left a young newlywed woman charred and lifeless on a third floor fire escape.




"He said he believed his wife was having an extramarital sexual relationship and that he and his wife got into an argument about this and she left the building with their son," the confession notes, recorded early the next morning by Fifth Precinct detectives.

Hu also admits starting the fire using a lighter -- first igniting the bedding in his wife and son's bedroom, then the bedding in his own bedroom -- and then fighting with first responders to keep them from entering the building.

"When a detective asked him how he felt about what he had done, defendant said he really didn't care either way and that he had no hard feelings," the confession continues.

Stephen Yang


The back of 41 Spring Street after a fire ripped through the building.



Hu made additional statements that were videotaped by prosecutors but not released. He remains held without bail.

"We're trying to find out to what extent there is a viable psychiatric defense," his lawyer, Kevin Walsh, said after court. Hu's records were destroyed in the fire; the lawyer said he is in the process of retrieving additional health documents from China.

Manhattan Supreme Court Justice Charles Solomon set April 2 for Hu's next court date.

"A woman died without warning as a result of the destructive, callous actions for which the defendant stands accused," Manhattan DA Cyrus Vance said in a written statement issued after the arraignment.

"As a result of this fire, none of the building's residents have been able to return to their apartments and many lost a lifetime of belongings," he said.

"Many more neighbors could have been injured or had their homes destroyed if not for the swift and courageous work of the FDNY and NYPD, who put their lives on the line that night," he added.

Stephen Yang


The back of 41 Spring Street after a fire ripped through the building.












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Cutting edge tech from Swiss Army




















The Victorinox Swiss Army Jetsetter looks like a traditional pocket knife the company is famous for, but instead of the knife you get a pocket full of storage.

A foldout and detachable USB 2.0 flash drive is among the features in the mini tool kit, which includes a ball point pen, bottle opener, Phillips screwdriver, tweezers and scissors in the 16 GB model I tested out.

The detachable flash drive is Windows- and Mac-friendly, although it comes loaded with Mac-friendly security software to protect your data stored on the device.





It’s available in capacities of 8 GB black ($39.95), 16 GB red ($49.99) and 32 GB silver ($99.99). There are a few different features in each, with the 32 GB model having a LED mini light, for example.

Details: www.swissarmy.com

A great find

Kensington’s Proximo Fob and Tag Kit creates a wireless (Bluetooth) monitoring system between your keys, accessories and an iPhone (4S or 5) that will alert you if they are separated.

I tried the starter kit ($59.99), which includes a fob, tag, keyring and has a screen driver to open the hardware and insert the included CR2032 lithium coin batteries, along with a key ring.

The fob attaches to the key ring and after you have it linked with the free Kensington Proximo app, anytime the devices are separated an alarm sounds. If your phone is within range but you can’t find it, press a button.

It’s easy to think of this as a monitoring device for your expensive smartphone but it also works in reverse once everything is linked up. With your phone in your pocket or purse, it can alert you that you have left your keys behind.

can be placed in a computer bag or attached to anything (or anyone) that you want alarmed. But unlike the fob, it’s only one direction; the app will find it but you can’t use it to find your phone.

The Proximo App Dashboard tracks up to five items with a single fob and up to four tags. Additional tags cost $24.99 each.

If you get out of range between the devices, an app lets you tap a button to let you know where your device was last seen and even pulls up a map with a specific address.

Details: www.Kensington.com

Sound investment

RadioShack’s Auvio expanding Bluetooth speaker ($39.99) is as simple and useful as a gadget can be. Just twist open the speaker, pair it with your device via Bluetooth and you’ll be amazed at how much better the sound is than the built-in speaker on your smartphone or tablet.

A rechargeable battery is built in for up to eight hours of use and can be powered up in two hours with a USB charge using the included cable.

It is 2.5 inches in diameter, just over 3-inches tall when expanded and about 2.5 inches when closed.

Another choice, with a bigger size (2.8-by-6.5-by-2.9 inches) but much better sound is the brick-shaped Auvio Portable Speaker ($79.99).

Both speakers have aux-in ports to connect to non-Bluetooth devices.

Details: www.radioshack.com





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Dominican lawyer defends Melgen, Menendez




















Prominent Dominican lawyer Vinicio Castillo on Monday said allegations that linked U.S. Sen. Robert Menendez to sex parties with prostitutes in the Dominican Republic were part of a “dirty campaign” aimed at discrediting his cousin, a Florida eye doctor who has a stalled multi-million-dollar for security at Dominican ports.

Castillo said Monday he will formally request Dominican authorities open an investigation into the source of allegations that claimed Menendez, a New Jersey Democrat, and Florida ophthalmologist Salomon Melgen had sex parties with prostitutes, including some that were underage.

Those allegations first surfaced last year on a conservative U.S. website. The scandal gained prominence last month when the FBI raided Melgen’s Florida offices and Menendez’s office said he had repaid the doctor $58,000 for trips to the Dominican Republic on his private jet.





The source of the allegations, who used the e-mail handle Peter Williams, has not come forward; neither have the prostitutes who provided videotaped interviews for the website.

Castillo, who was also named by the tipster, said his reputation has been damaged.

The Dominican National Police’s High-Tech Crimes Division “should ask for and receive help from the FBI and DEA, to establish who … put together false testimonies and documents fabricated to morally assassinate Senator Menendez” and Melgen, Castillo said, reading from a prepared statement at a press conference in his family’s Santo Domingo law offices.

Castillo called the allegations part of a “diabolical plot” orchestrated to discredit Melgen, who owns a company with a lucrative contract with the Dominican government to provide X-ray machines at ports. The machines would be used to scan shipping containers to look for contraband and illegal drugs.

The contract was originally signed with the Dominican government a decade ago. Two years ago, Melgen bought out the company that had signed the contract.

That contract has raised controversy due to its cost — an estimated $500 million to $1 billion over 20 years. And the machines have not been installed.

Menendez, who has received healthy campaign contributions from the doctor, in a July Senate hearing peppered Obama officials about what they were doing to help U.S. business interests in the Dominican Republic. He specifically mentioned the contract for X-ray equipment at the ports.

Castillo’s father, Vinicio “Vincho” Castillo, the government’s drug czar and Melgen’s uncle, has also spoken about the need for the machines.

Castillo contends that a “campaign of defamation” was orchestrated to prevent the contract from being executed and keep the X-ray machines out of the ports.

Some four million shipping containers move through the ports each year and there is currently just one X-ray machine.

The Dominican National Office for Drug Control has said that traffickers are using the ports to ship cocaine through the Dominican Republic to the U.S. and Europe.

Following an international seminar on maritime drug trafficking held in Punta Cana in December, a European Union anti-narcotics division declared that trafficking through the Caribbean had spiked.

“In the last two years cocaine traffic from the Caribbean to Europe has experimented a dramatic 800 percent increase,” the report concluded, without mentioning how much cocaine that might be.

“It’s evident that drug trafficking and its powerful allies in the country don’t have any interest in this technology being implemented in our ports,” Castillo said.





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BlackBerry shares jump after Bernstein upgrades stock






TORONTO (Reuters) – Shares of BlackBerry rose more than 8 percent in on Monday after Bernstein Research said it was upgrading the stock to “outperform” after last week’s launch of the company’s new line of BlackBerry 10 smartphones.


The brokerage firm, which has not had an “outperform” rating on the stock for more than three years, also lifted its price target to $ 22 from $ 12, saying it has grown much more confident about the success of the smartphones, powered by the new BlackBerry 10 operating system.






Shares of BlackBerry, which is in the process of changing its legal name from Research In Motion, rose 8.9 percent to $ 14.18 in early Nasdaq trading. BlackBerry’s Toronto-listed shares were up 9.1 percent at C$ 14.21 at 10:30 EST.


The stock began trading under the “BBRY” symbol on Nasdaq on Monday and under the “BB” symbol on the Toronto Stock Exchange. The stock used to trade as “RIMM” on the Nasdaq and “RIM” on the TSX.


“We upgrade BlackBerry to outperform today as we believe BB 10 is set for a strong launch,” Bernstein analyst Pierre Ferragu said in a note to clients. “Even if the long-term prospects for the platform are very uncertain, we believe all is in place for BlackBerry 10 to enjoy a great debut.”


BlackBerry, a one-time pioneer in the smartphone industry, has ceded market share in recent years to the likes of Apple’s iPhone, Samsung’s Galaxy line and a slew of devices powered by Google Inc’s market-leading Android operating system.


In a make-or-break move to regain market share and return to profit, BlackBerry introduced its new line of smartphones to much fanfare on Wednesday. However, its stock fell more than 10 percent following the launch as investors were disappointed that the new smartphones will only go on sale in mid-March in the crucial U.S. market.


“The strength of this launch is overlooked by investors, creating strong opportunity to buy BlackBerry,” said Ferragu, adding that he expects strong initial corporate demand for the new devices.


“We believe BlackBerry should trade in the $ 20-$ 25 range once a decent launch for Blackberry 10 and a stabilized trajectory for fiscal year 2014 are priced in,” he said.


BlackBerry unveiled both a touch-screen device and a physical-keyboard device last week. While the traditional keyboard model only goes on sale in April, the touch-screen device is already on sale in the United Kingdom and hits store shelves in Canada this week.


Waterloo, Ontario-based BlackBerry said the U.S. launch was delayed until mid-March because U.S. wireless carriers have a longer testing phase than carriers in other countries. The devices, which are set to retail for C$ 599 ($ 600) in Canada, are currently attracting bids of more than $ 1,000 each on auction site ebay.com.


(Reporting by Euan Rocha; Editing by Lisa Von Ahn; and Peter Galloway)


Wireless News Headlines – Yahoo! News





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Jamie Bamber Monday Mornings Interview

While Monday Mornings showcases cutting edge surgical techniques, TNT's new medical drama is, tonally, a throwback to shows like Chicago Hope and E.R., when stories revolved around the ailing patients, not the banging doctors.

Although it comes as no surprise that Monday Mornings is operating on a higher level once you get a glimpse at the top-notch cast (Jamie Bamber, Alfred Molina, Ving Rhames) and behind-the-scenes crew (created by four-time Peabody Award winner David E. Kelley and based on Sanjay Gupta's book).

According to star Jamie Bamber, centering Monday Mornings around weekly 311 meetings (where doctors gather with their peers for a confidential review of complications and errors in patient care) was one reason he jumped at the chance to join the cast.


ETonline: What attracted you to Monday Mornings?


Jamie Bamber: I knew very early on that I wanted to get involved because of David E. Kelley and the kind of writing he brought to the character in the first episode. Sanjay's book wasn't out yet, so I just had this guy with this god complex who has never had to doubt his own abilities. I mean, what a great way to tee up a character's journey. I had no idea if the show would be procedural or like Battlestar Galactica and go week-to-week, but it was a great role, a great script, a great showrunner with David E. Kelly and I knew these were great ingredients to make a show.


RELATED - TV's Most Heartbreaking Deaths


ETonline: What was the audition process like?


Bamber: I had a great first meeting -- they told me right away that I was their guy, which is a great feeling. You dream of those moments. But they're frustrating as well because it means you're normally NOT the guy [laughs]. So it's a scary thought, but it was me that time. I still had to jump through a couple of hoops, but it was a relatively easy process.


ETonline: I love the idea of setting the show around this 311 Meeting -- what appealed to you about that?


Bamber: This 311 meeting transforms it beyond the medical drama. Now, it becomes a crisis of identify for one of the regulars each week. I mean, they're torn apart by their colleagues in this meeting and for someone who needs to be confident all the time, you can't underestimate the enormity of making them question their own beliefs. It engages every part of you, and that's what David E. Kelley does better than any other writer right now.


ETonline: What kind of preparation did you to accurately play a doctor?


Bamber: I immersed myself in it. I wanted to be authentic. I interviewed as many surgeons as I could, I did the rounds, I did the pre-op and watched an 8-hour craniotomy of the frontal lobe. I was amazed by it -- I went home with a completely different perspective on life. I saw a living brain that will continue to live for years to come as a result of what this doctor did.


RELATED - Katee Sackhoff Reminisces About BSG


ETonline: Actors who play doctors always talk about the difficulties of mastering medical jargon. Was this easier or harder than Battlestar Galactica, where you basically spoke a different language?


Bamber: There were basic tenets of the Battlestar jargon that started to seep into every day live. Like saying "Frak" instead of "F*ck" or saying "Gods" instead of "God." Things like that just became second nature after a while. Beyond that, you have the FTL drives and some gobbledygook, bu it wasn't as tough because, if you said something slightly incorrect, there was no one out there who could recognize it in comparison to what is accurate. Here, there's many more pitfalls because millions of people do actually know the medical jargon. We're not on a parallel planet so it's a bit of work, but I really enjoy it.


ETonline: After the highly serialized Battlestar, you starred on Law & Order: UK, which is the definition of a procedural. Does Monday Mornings feel like the perfect combination of those two?


Bamber: It really does. I understand why big popular global shows, like CSI and House, have to be a bit more stand alone. And David E. Kelley knows that, he's no dummy, but this does have on-going arcs that give us more to play as actors. Yes, we're trying to save the patient every week, but you get a sense of our career trajectory through this 311 meeting as well.


VIDEO - BSG Stars Dissect The Appeal of 'Frak'


ETonline: Are you surprised by the continued passion people have for Battlestar?


Bamber: Not any more. Somewhere around season two Eddie [James Olmos] said that this would be the kind of show people talked about for years, and so far, he's been right. I'm gratified every time someone says to me I've just ruined a week of their life because they can't stop watching the DVD's [laughs]. It's such a great feeling. As an artist, all you want is that thing on the bookshelf where you can say "I contributed" and moved people. That seems to be happening with Battlestar, and I feel very lucky to have achieved that.


Monday Mornings
premieres tonight at 10 p.m. on TNT.

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Texas couple rent fancy Manhattan condo to 'revoling door of complete strangers': lawsuit








A Texas couple turned a designer Manhattan condo into a virtual flophouse by renting their unit to transient, hard partying guests, a new lawsuit alleges.

Robert and Marilyn Blodgett, of Houston, have allegedly used 3K "as a vacation rental property,” drawing a “revolving door of complete strangers,” despite repeated cease and desist demands from the condo board of 340 E. 23rd Street, the Manhattan Supreme Court suit states.

The couple owns a vacation website called Luxe VR, which markets high-end properties across the U.S. to travelers for stays of a few days to many weeks.




At least 27 tourists have bedded down in 3K since August 2011, but it was recent guest Malcolm Kee, who sent residents into a tizzy, according to court documents.

Kee, in his mid-twenties, checked in on Jan. 14, allegedly threw three ragging parties, invited friends who threatened and cursed out building staff, and still hasn't checked out, the lawsuit claims.

Attempts to curb Kee's alleged bad behavior have proven unsuccessful. “Much to the horror of the residents of neighboring unit 3L, Kee, his travel companion, or one of his party guests responded in a retaliatory manner by defacing 3L’s doorway with an obscene depiction of male genitalia,” court papers claim.

“It’s amazing to me that you could be in this luxury condo building and pay millions of dollars for your apartment and right next door you have some crazy person,” said the condo board’s attorney, Steven Sladkus.

For $299 a night tourists “can experience living like a real Manhattanite,” a website for the rental boasts, adding that the address is a short walk to “famous restaurants and bars and Third and First Avenue.”

The board of the Gramercy Condominium, by celebrity designer Phillippe Starck, wants to shut down the illegal hotel and unspecified monetary damages.

Sladkus said the practice of renting out units on a short-term basis has proliferated in the past year.

“Unfortunately there’s a big trend lately for people renting out their condo units on a short-term basis,” said Sladkus. The practice “not only violates most building’s bylaws, but also violates the Multiple Dwelling Law that says essentially you can’t have paying guests for less than 30 days.”

Sladkus said the unit’s owners, the Blodgetts, have completely ignored three requests to stop the rentals. The Blodgetts did not immediately return phone and email messages seeking comment.










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Bright spots in Latin America despite global economic uncertainty




















There are bright spots as Latin American and Caribbean economies begin the year but the uncertain health of the U.S. economy, the lingering financial crisis in Europe and more sluggish growth in China are casting shadows over the region.

A decade ago, dim prospects in those major markets would have delivered a knock-out punch in the region, but this year Latin American and Caribbean economies are expected to grow by 3.5 percent and average 3.9 percent growth in 2014 and 2015, according to a World Bank forecast. The United Nations’ Economic Commission has a slightly more sanguine forecast of 3.8 percent growth in 2013.

Both are better than the 2.4 percent growth the World Bank is forecasting for the global economy and the mere 1.3 percent increase it is predicting for high-income countries.





The U.S. economy grew by 2.2 percent in 2012. But the economy shrank 0.1 percent in the fourth quarter and the first quarter of 2013 also could be sluggish..

“That creates a soggy start for 2013 in Latin America,’’ said David Malpass, president of Encima Global, a New York economic consulting and research firm.

With a recession in Japan, even slower growth expected in Europe than in the United States, and questions about whether the dip in the Chinese economy has bottomed out and whether the United States will be making sharp cuts in defense spending and other federal programs come March 1, Latin American and Caribbean nations can’t really depend on the industrialized world to spur growth.

The region must look inward and undertake structural reforms that will allow growth from domestic factors, said Malpass, who was in Miami in January for an event organized by the University of Miami’s Center for Hemispheric Policy.

Panama’s $5.25 billion investment in expansion of the Panama Canal is an example of the inward focus that will pay off down the road, said Malpass. By 2015, Panama plans to have completed two new sets of locks on the Atlantic and Pacific sides of the canal and the deepening and widening of existing channels to accommodate the so-called Post-Panamax ships too big to traverse the current locks.

“It’s a difficult period but a period where developing countries are growing solidly but not as quickly as they might otherwise want to,’’ said Andrew Burns, the lead author of the World Bank’s annual Global Economic Trends report.

That means they should focus on investment in infrastructure and healthcare, structural policies, regulatory reforms and improvements in governance that will pay future dividends down the road, Burns said.

Such economic reforms, plus high commodity prices enjoyed by countries with fertile fields and mineral wealth, helped the region move beyond the global financial crisis of 2008 and 2009 far more quickly than it did when it was so dependent on economic cycles in the rest of the world.

Economic growth slowed in Latin America and the Caribbean from 4.3 percent in 2011 to an estimated 3 percent but that was still better than the 1.3 percent growth high-income countries managed in 2012, according to The World Bank.

China will continue to play a major role in Latin America and the Caribbean this year but whether the slowdown in China has reached its low point is subject to debate. But it’s relative. Slow growth in China would be brisk growth elsewhere. China says its gross domestic product grew 7.8 percent in 2012, the most tepid growth in 13 years and a comedown from 9.3 percent growth in 2011.





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Insane City: Read excerpt from Dave Barry’s new book




















After a block and a half they came to the Clevelander, a legendary South Beach bar bearing no resemblance to anything that has ever existed in Cleveland. On a small stage next to the packed bar a woman wearing a basically invisible bikini was writhing to inhumanly loud pounding music. Nearby, beneath a sign that said D.J. BOOGA WOOGA was a man wearing black lace-up boots and a purple thong held up by orange suspenders. He was shouting into a microphone: “LAST CALL FOR THE MISS HOT AMATEUR BOD CONTEST! LADIES COME ON UP! FIRST PRIZE IS ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS! COME ON LADIES! LET’S SEE WHAT YOU GOT!”

Standing near the DJ were a dozen young women wearing garments that, if all of them were combined, might have provided enough fabric to make a sock.

“We should stop here,” said Kevin.





“No we shouldn’t,” said Seth. “We need to get to the Ritz.”

“We can’t get to the Ritz,” said Kevin. “Admit it. We tried, and we failed.”

“Plus,” said Marty, “they don’t have Miss Hot Amateur Bod at the Ritz, not to mention D.J. Booga Wooga.”

Seth looked back out at Ocean Drive. Still no taxis.

“Maybe there’s a bus to Key Biscayne,” said Big Steve.

“Shut up, Steve,” said Kevin.

“Come on, Seth,” said Marty. “One drink.”

“OK,” said Seth, dragging his suitcase toward the bar. “One drink.”

* * *

Three hours later, they were on their fifth pitcher of margaritas. The pitchers were $50 apiece, plus a generous tip for Vicki the bartender, with whom Kevin had fallen deeply in love. Kevin was also in love with Cyndi Friend Gonzalez, an outgoing young woman who had finished fourth in the Miss Hot Amateur Bod competition, and who was wearing a dress made from roughly one square inch of some extremely stretchy material. At Kevin’s invitation, Cyndi had joined the Groom Posse at the bar; she had in turn been joined by a friend of hers, a large bald man named Duane.

The posse was not thrilled about Duane, but nobody told him to leave, because in addition to being large, he had an 11-foot Burmese albino python named Blossom draped over his shoulders. Duane made his living collecting tips from tourists who wanted to have their pictures taken with Blossom. He’d been doing this for eight years and considered himself a professional. He also considered himself an ambassador for Miami, and upon learning that Seth was about to get married, he had appointed himself as tour guide.

“This is my town,” he said. “ ¿Se hablo espaƱolo? You need weed? Oxy?”

“I think we’re good,” said Seth.

Duane brandished Blossom. “You want to hold her? No charge for the groom, man.”

“Maybe later,” said Seth, leaning back to avoid Blossom’s flicking tongue.

“Just say the word,” said Duane, pouring Seth and himself another glass from the pitcher, finishing it. Kevin waved to Vicki for another.

The Clevelander was now very crowded and making far more noise than the entire state of Nebraska. The sea-salted night air was warm and sticky and thick with the aromas of spilled beer and cigar smoke and Axe body spray and billowing clouds of do-me perfume worn by women who were not wearing a whole lot else. Seth was staring at one of these women, wondering how she sat down in that dress and hoping she would attempt to do so soon, when he realized that Big Steve was shouting something into his ear, trying to be heard over the all-obliterating boom-boom issuing from the coffin-sized speakers of D.J. Booga Wooga.

“WHAT?” said Seth.

“THE HOTEL!” said Big Steve. He held up his phone so Seth could see the time: 9:30. Seth frowned. He swiveled toward Marty, grabbing the bar to keep from falling off the stool.

“MARTY.”

“WHAT?”

“WE NEED TO GET TO THE HOTEL!”

“WHAT?”

“THE HOTEL!”

Marty frowned deeply for several seconds, processing this concept, then said, “WHAT?”

“Never mind,” said Seth. Realizing it was time to take matters into his own hands, he turned away from Marty and slid smoothly off the stool. He continued sliding smoothly until he found himself on all fours under the bar. He decided to remain that way for a bit, collecting his thoughts.

He’d been down there a while and had yet to collect any when he became vaguely aware of voices shouting above him in the thumping din. He heard his name, and realized that the voices belonged to Marty, Big Steve and Kevin, who, apparently unaware that he was under the bar, were trying to figure out where he was.

“Hey!” said Seth. “Down here!”

They didn’t hear him. Their voices were louder now, and more concerned.

“Hey!” Seth repeated, again going unheard. He thought about attempting to stand up, but at the moment that didn’t seem to be a good idea, or even possible. He decided to collect his thoughts some more and soon fell asleep with his back against the bar.





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